How Bad are Your Holiday Office Gifts?

Very. Face it, your stocking stuffers make the Who’s of Whoville want the Grinch to steal Christmas. You can do better though! Take this holiday season to show your employees how much they mean to you.

How you ask?

These days you need something different. These days you need to give office gifts from the heart.

  1. FIRE EXTINGUISHERS - Practical and thoughtful, fire extinguishers are the perfect idea for the people who make your business run. Show them you care by putting out the fires in their lives.
  2. PTO - Hold on, let’s not go crazy here. We’re talking about PAID TIME ON. Wait, there’s a way to increase productivity and provide a higher earning opportunity? YES and YES. Stop limiting your company’s potential and get rid of Holiday vacation days.
  3. FRAMED PICTURE OF WALTER CRONKITE“The most trusted man in America” used his CBS pulpit to report everything from the Second World War to the Moon Landing. Imagine those eyes, that mustache, that soothing delivery. You can probably hear his voice already. He’d make the perfect addition to any employee’s cubicle wall.
  4. DOG COLLAR - Did you just say all your employees might not be “dog people?” Well they should be.
  5. BEDAZZLER - Quarterly reports will never be the same. This little tool adds glittering stones to any object you wish to improve (and pairs especially well with the dog collars). Are you a Product Director wondering how to add value to you new line? Are you a hiring manager pondering how to draw the best talent to your company?The answer is simple: make it DAZZLE.
  6. LAMINATED QUARTERLY PROFITS REPORT - OK, we admit this one is pretty risky. Morale sways easily and nobody wants to be the mood killer. You probably want to avoid sending these out if your company’s report glows red. But then again, so did Rudolph’s nose, and he saved Christmas.
  7. TASER - These little electric boom sticks will put smiles on the Scroogiest of your employees’ faces. We all value a safe work environment and few things secure people like pockets filled with 50,000 Volts of electricity. Gone are the days of wasteful cameras, excessive locks or roaming guards. Hello personal responsibility!
  8. BOTTLED AIR - People probably said water wouldn’t bottle either. Plus, office air can taste stale and recycled. Nobody wants to breath air someone else breathed first. Say goodbye to that workplace complaint for at least a few breathes with this thoughtfully healthy (and inexpensive!) option.
  9. RELIGIOUS LITERATURE - Do you feel like the holidays have lost their meaning? Or maybe you see a meaning you don’t like. We all know it’s tough to work with people who don’t agree with you. Show them how wrong they are this holiday season.
  10. UNDERWEAR - Hey, everyone could use another pair.

Remember when Clark Griswold passionately opens his bonus in Christmas Vacation? Yea, that’s how it feels and we’ve all been there. So maybe this year we ditch the cheap plastics and try some sincerity. Help your coworkers smile and maybe they’ll help you laugh. You just unwrapped our gift and it didn’t even have a bow.

Happy Holiday’s!

The Resumator

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